If Only I Had Told Her by Laura Nowlin

“My devotion to Autumn is engraved on my very being. I am in awe of her. I will sit in the stands and cheer her on in life as her most ardent admirer. I know I will always love her in the same way I know I’ll always need oxygen.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“If only I’d told her that I loved her years ago, I wouldn’t be here now.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“She’s made of the stories she has read.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“We’re just being close one last time.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“it matters which people you spend time with, and it matters how you spend your time, because you don’t know how much you have.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“My love for her is vehement, protracted, and interminable.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“Fairy-tale love? Cartoon character with hearts floating all around him? Or a movie montage with the best song? That’s what you were to him. You were the biggest, most impossible dream for him.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“I’ll love her even if she turns out to be cruel. That’s my curse.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“It’s all done. Finn’s story is over. His whole life. That was it. Not even nineteen years, and he’ll never, ever do anything else ever again. Finn won’t go off to college or celebrate his birthday. He won’t get another haircut or get the oil changed in his car. He won’t bite a hangnail on his thumb or buy another CD. Finn Smith has done everything he will ever get to do. He won’t get to be with Autumn.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“We are all dead bodies that haven’t died yet.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“But life is that sometimes, and that’s a good thing.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“Books are Autumn’s real life. She is made of the stories she has read.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“When you’re reading a book and you can’t focus, ask yourself, ‘How much is the writer’s fault, and how much is mine?’ Be honest. That’s how you’ll know if you should set it aside forever or for a few hours.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“I know I will always love her in the same way I know I’ll always need oxygen.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“I’m not saying it’s okay. It happens mostly when she’s depressed, and if her mom is any indication, depression is going to be a lifelong thing for her. I’m simply saying that Autumn’s base motivations are defensive, not cruel.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“I’ve seen her finish a novel, pause staring off into space for a minute she’s receiving instructions, and then open another book. It’s as if her job is to read and she’s behind on her quota.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“I understand this much: Autumn lives in this world and the fictions of her mind or those written by others her.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“With a plan in place, I climb out of the car and run across the rain-soaked pavement to her. I fall to my knees in front of Sylvie, putting my hand to the ground. It’s wet—”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“I’ll go by the graveyard later and make sure he’s settled in.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“The reality is, what you imagined will never happen, and what you remembered is already done”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“There’re always things that we could have done differently. What matters is what we do now.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“My love for her is the closest thing I have to religion. But it’s okay that she doesn’t feel the same. I’m fine. I can handle it.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“If I had known.
If I had only known.
Things would have been different.
That place still hurts.
That place can’t forgive.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“This baby isn’t what’s left over from our love story. This baby is our story’s continuation.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“Oh, Autumn.” My friend. My dream. My love.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“My mind spins, trying, trying, trying to find a way out of this maze. There’s got to be a way I can think this into not being true.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“Autumn has her flaws. She’s offhandedly arrogant about her looks. She lacks tenacity or drive for anything that isn’t reading or writing. When she’s in a bad mood, you must tread carefully. She can, in the blink of an eye, casually strike with a few cruel words that get right to the heart of your insecurities. But she almost always apologizes quickly. She’ll flinch after the words leave her mouth and tell you she’s sorry. I’m not saying it’s okay. It happens mostly when she’s depressed, and if her mom is any indication, depression is going to be a lifelong thing for her. I’m simply saying that Autumn’s base motivations are defensive, not cruel.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“Whenever you and Finn Smith would see each other, at school or the mall or whatever, you guys would freeze for a split second. And then you would be moving and talking again, but it was part of you was still frozen, waiting for the other person to do something.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“All my agonies had been caused by figments of my imagination.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her

“I have to do it. It’s the last thing I’ll get to do for my friend ever again.”
― Laura Nowlin, If Only I Had Told Her